Are You Lonesome Tonight?

Let me ask you this:

Which is it for you?  Most of the time I enjoy my solitude because even when i'm alone, i'm usually doing something.  I like to keep busy, I have a hard time just around.  I don't watch tv anymore, it's never on during the day (sorry Dr Phil).  We watch the news at night, which is mostly depressing, and Survivor (diehards) and otherwise we usually have a Netflix series on the go (currently working our way thru Fargo, quirky and weird but it keeps you coming back)..  

But back to the question at hand.   I think one of the most important things we can do as women (and men) is to learn to enjoy our own company.  Be at peace when you are alone, embrace it, enjoy it.  Sit in sollitude or keep busy.   Drink a cup of tea in silence or tackle a project.   Mostly I I like to keep busy but there are days where I just need to sit, I have no choice, so I roll with it.   I don't read as much as I used to but man or man I do a lot of deep thinking.  I probably even talk to myself from time to time, judging from the way the dog looks at me..

When I was first diagnosed with MS and eventually went off work on LTD, I did not do well being home alone everyday.   When you are working and have a day off or a week off, thats freedom baby!  But when you have months and months off with no end in sight and reality kicks in, it doesn't feel quite so "freeing".   Trust me on this.  I was used to working in a busy office at a busy job and lets face it, i'm a people person.  It took me a VERY long time to learn to enjoy my own company.  It didn't happen over night, i've talked before on my blog about depression and anxiety, two hurdles I had to overcome to get to where I am right now.  Keeping busy is key for me.  I love having a good project on the go and now that we have transitioned into the sign making business too, there isn't much time for me to even think about being alone.  I always have something I can do on my down days too, did y'all know I took a crocheting class in the fall?  Yup, I'm not very good at it but it's busy work too and it's good for my fine motor skills which are often affected by an MS diagnosis.

Today as I was working away in my little workroom with many many things on my mind, at the forefront was, i'm so thankful to have this solitude, to have this time to think, but to also be busy so I don't think too much.  On the days where my thinking turns to overthinking, the music gets turned on and turned up.  Spotify always seems to know exactly what I need to hear!

I get asked so many times how I handle being at home all day everyday and I always tell people it is what it is.  I took the hand that I was dealt and made the best of it.  It took me a little while to get there but I eventually made it.  Why dwell on what could have been, I can't change it so I may as well roll with the punches and I learned to enjoy my own company.

Now it's time to go make that cup of tea.

Michele xo